Twilight Musical!
by Margaritaville01
Summary: A spoof of random Twilight scenes, complete with musical numbers! Co-written with luvdacullens.
1. Beach Scene

**We (luvdacullens and Margaritaville01) wrote a musical that spoofs Twilight scenes. The scenes are in random order, from all four books in the saga. **

**The first scene is the scene where Bella goes to the beach and finds out Edward's secret, with a slight twist.**

(Bella's at her locker. It is really, really far away from Jessica's.)

Jessica- (Calls out to Bella) Yo, Bella we're going to the beach today. Wanna come?

Bella- What? We're going to see the Beach Boys. Are you kidding man? I love them!

Mike- (Hears Bella calling out to Jess) What? Change of plans, we're going to the Beach Boys concert. That is soooo awesome man! (Puts his arm around Bella)

(Jess runs up and slaps Mike across the face and walks away)

Mike- Dude, what the heck?

Bella- So anyways, the Beach Boys concert is going to be so much fun! (They leave school and go outside)

Mike- I know! I love their song Surfin USA! (Bella and Mike both sing Surfin USA. They dance around and hold hands)

Edward- (He witnessed Bella and Mike holding hands and dancing. He witnesses it from behind a tree.) Note to Self – MUST DESTROY NEWTON

At Concert

Bella- Like OMG! We're actually here at the Beach Boys concert, Jess! (Jessica found out that they were going to the concert instead of the beach because Lauren overheard and told her)

Jessica- I know! I know! (Turns to Mike) Mikey, I can't believe we're at the Beach Boys concert.

Mike- Yeah. Sure.

Bella- I want to introduce everybody to my friend. (Turns to Jacob) This is Jacob. Jacob say hello.

Jacob- Hello. (In a dull way)

All- Hello.

Lauren- Bella, why don't you get a ticket for Edward Cullen!

Bella- Yeah! Totally! I mean he's my soon to be boyfriend, even though he hates me!

Lauren- Totally

Bella- (Turns to ticket dude) One ticket for Edward Cullen please!

Ticket guy- (Presses button to talk through) No

Bella- Why not?

Ticket guy- (Presses button) The Cullens don't come here.

Bella – (Pretty much screams) Jacob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob- What?

Bella- Why don't the Cullen's come here?

Jacob-(Really loud) Well first of all, their vampires. And second (Points his finger to Bella signaling for her to come closer so, he can tell her a secret) (Sings the beginning part of Closer by Ne-Yo.)

Bella- Yeah

Jacob- (whispering) Edward's brother Emmett was supposed to be the lead singer of the Beach Boys, but then they found the other guy and they hired him.

Bella- (gasps) Seriously, OMG! (Goes to take her seat at the concert)

Jacob- Oh Yeah and Bella don't spread that second thing I told you around.

Bella- Okey-dokey!

Review, please! And both of us will be reading the other one's review because (duh) it's the same story! Thank you!

~luvdacullens and Margaritaville01


	2. Breakup Scene

**This is a scene in New Moon, when Edward breaks up with Bella.**

Edward- Can we talk?

Bella- (on phone) Yeah! I know! Like, totally! Wait hold on a minute. (Turns to Edward) What? (Says in an annoyed tone)

Edward- Can we go to a quiet place?

Bella- Hold on Mikey. I'll call ya back later! Someone's being a pain! (Hangs up the phone) Where would ya like to go?

Edward- Let's go to the forest.

Bella- Ya Sure. Whatev.

**In Forest**

Edward- I don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm going to say this in a nice way. (Sings) Baby bye, bye, bye

Bella- What you're breaking up with me? (In tears)

Edward- It's not me it's you.

Bella- It's me?

Edward- Ya. You smell

Bella- (Smells her armpit) Don't break up with me. I promise I'll buy deodorant.

Edward- No amount of deodorant can cover up that stink.

Bella- I'll do anything. Don't leave me! I'll even take showers more. Just please say you're kidding.

Edward- (sings) Ain't no lie baby bye, bye, bye (Turns around and walks away)

Bella- No! (Falls on the floor)

Sam- (Sees Bella) I am Sam. Sam I am.

Bella- Hi.

Sam- I like green eggs and ham. Do you like green eggs and ham?

Bella- Uhhh… sure. (Takes out New Moon) Well… according to this book you're supposed to carry me to my house. Please proceed.

Sam- Oh. Okay. Whatever you say. (Picks up Bella) What's that smell? It's disgusting!

Bella- Edward was right. Edward! (Remembering Edward left her, she begins to cry)

**End of Scene**


	3. Jacob's Secret Scene

**This is the scene where Jacob tells Bella about his secret.**

(Jacob is climbing up Bella's house and is trying to enter from the window)

Jacob- Bells! It's me Jakey!

Bella- Jakey! What are you doing?

Jacob- I'm trying to get into that window. (Points to the window and after he points, he loses his grip) (Fall's down flat on his face and it makes a loud noise)

Jacob- I'm okay.

Bella- Oh. Ok then. (Bella goes to file her nails)

Jacob- Bells! HELP!

Bella- What am I supposed to do?

Jacob- Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your long hair.

Bella- Excuse me. I cut my hair before I saw Charlie, but he didn't notice. I thought you would.

Jacob- Well anyways, your hair is not as thick and shiny as Rapunzel's.

Bella- EXCUSE ME! Did you just insult my hair? (Threatens Jacob) I'm going to throw this pillow on you.

Jacob- (Frightened) I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!

Bella- I don't have time for this. I need my beauty rest! (Goes back to sleep)

3 hours later….

(Jacob is climbing up and struggling. His face is covered in dirt and he is breathing heavily).

Jacob- Wake up, Wake up!

Bella- What? (Annoyed) I was dreaming of unicorns.

Jacob- I need to tell you something. I transformed into something. Guess what it is? I'll give you a clue. I told you about the legends.

Bella- A BEACH BOY!

Jacob- No!

Bella- A unicorn?

Jacob- No.

Bella- A griffin.

Jacob- What in the world is a griffin?

Bella- A half horse dragon thing.

Jacob- Okkay

Bella- Are you a mermaid?

Jacob- No.

Bella- A platypus

Jacob- No.

Bella- A secret agent man

Jacob- No.

Bella- A psychiatrist

Jacob- No, but I think you need one.

Bella- Give me a clue!

Jacob- Something hairy.

Bella- (Goes over to pat Jacob) You're getting facial hair! I could ask Charlie about what shaving cream he uses.

Jacob- No, but a mustache would look good on me.

Bella- Ok, Ok, don't tell me. A… wizard?

Jacob- Wrong story. Harry Potter is on the next shelf.

Bella- Maybe, I'll go visit later. Okay… Can we play hangman?

Jacob- (Gets paper and a pen) Okay. Guess a letter.

Bella- B

Jacob- Wrong. (Draws head)

Bella- W

Jacob- Good

20 minutes later… (Puzzle is completed)

Bella – (Struggling to pronounce it) Were…

Jacob- C'mon!

Bella- Were… I know I could do this. Werewolf!

Jacob – Bingo!

Bella- I thought we were playing hangman?

**END OF SCENE**


	4. Bella's First Day Scene

**This is Bella's first day of school. **

(At lunch)

(Bella walks up to Mike, Jessica, Eric, Angela and Lauren's table)

Bella- Hi

Mike- The name's Newton. (Dramatically removes sunglasses) Mike Newton.

Bella- That sounded cool! The name's Swan. (Removes glasses from Mike's face, places them on herself, then dramatically removes them) Bella Swan.

(Edward comes over)

Edward- Hey Bella. The name's Cullen. Edward Cullen.

Bella- Okay, Edward, it was really cool when me and Mike did it, but you just ruined it. And that's so not cool.

Mike- Yeah, man.

(Edward leaves)

Bella- Okay what's the deal with him and his family?

Jessica- Okay, well, that is Edward, and the blonde girl is Rosalie, and that guy next to her is Emmett. That little girl is Alice, and the blond dude is Jasper. The one who looks like he's in pain.

(Jasper abruptly stands up, knocking his chair over. He stands up on the table, and a random spotlight shines on him.)

Jasper solo- I'm In Pain by Obituary

Bella- Okay, that was.... weird...

Jessica- Talk about it! But anyway, I'm Jessica, that's Angela, Lauren, Tyler, Eric, and you already know Mike. So, yah.

Eric- You're so cool!

Angela- I wish I could be just like you!

Tyler- Will you marry me?

Jessica- OMG, Bella, you know what? You're so...so...

Jessica solo- Popular from the musical _Wicked_

Bella- Well, uh, yeah..... See you!

(Biology class)

Bella- (Sits next to Edward) HI!

Edward- I hate you.

Bella- Why (On the verge of tears, lips trembling)

Edward- Two reasons: One, you called me uncool. NOBODY calls the Ed-mister uncool. You understand that? And two, you smell so good, and I can't control myself.

Bella- You like my new perfume? It's Chanel. I knew all the guys would dig it!

(Edward shakes his head and looks away)

**Thank you for reading! We hope you laughed!**

**~Margaritaville01 and luvdacullens**


	5. Car Crash Scene

**Thanks for all the reviews! We really appreciate them! Please continue to review! Hope you like this scene………**

**ICE CREAM TRUCK CRASH**

**Bella doesn't just get run over by any ordinary truck, she gets run over by an ICE CREAM TRUCK……**

(Bella and Edward are staring at each other. In the background, you hear the ice cream truck anthem)

5 seconds pass by…….

(The ice cream truck crashes into Bella)

Bella- (On the floor) OW!

Edward- Are you okay?

Bella- Do I look like I'm okay?

Edward- (starts to pick up Bella and then drops her) OMG! I just got a craving for ice cream!

(Edward goes into the truck and sees the ice cream man who is on the floor)

Edward- Can I have a triple scoop sundae?

Ice cream man- (struggling to speak) It's in the truck!

Edward- (runs to get the ice cream and then comes back) Are you okay man?

Ice cream man- NO

EVENTUALLY, Edward gets Bella and the ice cream man to the hospital ……….

Edward- Carlisle, Can you make sure Bella is okay?

Carlisle- Of course, I can! Do you know why? Because I know…. (Sings **How to say a life by The Fray**)………………………………………….

Unlike you Edward! Why didn't you save her?

Edward- Um, hello, I was finishing my ice cream sundae!

Carlisle- (looks from Edward to Bella. Then, he covers Bella's ears.) Why were you eating ice cream? You can't eat food. You're a vampire!

Edward- That explains why I was feeling queasy! Oh man! (Throws up ice cream)

(Charlie finds out about the accident and rushes to the hospital)……

Charlie- Bella, what happened to you?

Bella- The ice cream man ran me over.

Charlie- (really mad) YOU DID THIS!

Ice cream man- I'm sorry! I could explain.

Charlie- I'm listening.

Ice cream man- Okay, so I was stocking my truck with strawberry melon ice cream and-

Charlie- STRAWBERRY MELON! That's my favorite!

Ice cream man- I have so much in my truck and-

Charlie- (before he can finish, Charlie runs out the door)

STRAWBERY MELON, Here I come!

**Hope you loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please review! More scenes will be posted! **

Btw, We do not own Twilight or any of the song mentioned in this musical.


End file.
